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Current JoyPoll results for 1036 entries:

What happened exactly, to cause that fission reaction?
Steve Ballmer karate-chopped a chair, splitting the nucleus of a chair atom, releasing a massive amount of energy, ... another good reason not to buy those uranium-235 Herman Millers. 37 3%
A chair, accelerated to a near infinite velocity, stuck another chair, causing it to fly off and strike two others, and so on, and so on, ... so it started a chair reaction? 204 19%
It was actually a fusion reaction, when Anger particles combined with Frustration particles inside of Ballmer's head, ... or else the silicon chip inside his head, got switched to overload. 111 10%
It was fusion, but it occurred when Ballmer choked his Jerry Yang blow-up doll so hard, that his grip forced nuclei together, and the electrostatic repulsion was overcome by the attractive nuclear force, which resulted in a massive release of energy, ... actually, it was one of those high-pressure hydrogen blow-up dolls, and it burst. 119 11%
A Jerry Yang-inator arrived from the future and used excessive force to stop the merger, ... the Yang-inator was built with Google's Android technology. 56 5%
Ballmer ate beans for lunch, ... pray you are not downwind! 381 36%
I had a meltdown. 128 12%

May not add up to exactly 100% due to rounding, and control rods.
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